How To Build Unrelenting Self-Confidence
Many people struggle with self-confidence. In fact, lack of confidence is perhaps the biggest reason that most great ideas never take flight. People come up with great ideas everyday but struggle to advance them because of resistant thoughts and limiting beliefs regarding their own ability. They quit before even starting.
The truth is, building a great life starts with changing your thoughts. And confidence is built when we shift the balance of our thoughts from negative to positive. Perhaps the most popular quote from the Buddha is, “The mind is everything. What you think, you become.” Once we truly understand this, we begin to eliminate self-doubt and construct positive thoughts little by little.
First, begin by realizing the power of the mind. It is not a coincidence that the most successful people in this world have built great lives by manipulating their reality through the power of their own thoughts. For anyone new to this ideology, reading the books “Think and Grow Rich” and “As a Man Thinketh” are great to grasp a better understanding of the subject.
Second, understand that fear, anxiety, anger, doubt, and self-limiting thoughts are not your thoughts. As Steven Pressfield states in his book, “Do the Work,” these thoughts that we experience are just chatter, they are resistance. And, it is resistance we must fight.
The diagram above was created by Tom Laughlin to explain the human psyche. All the actions we take daily are influenced either by the Self or the ego. The Self is the source of all positivity, creativity, and imagination. Whereas, all the negative emotions listed in the previous paragraph dwell in the ego.
When we experience creative and positive thoughts, they are coming from the Self. The contradicting thoughts we experience to those positive thoughts(the chatter) are influenced from the ego. It is important to note that the Self is the influence of all growth and happiness and that the ego is the thing trying to hold us back from creating any positive change in our lives. Therefore, if you want to grow and be happy, if you want to live a prosperous and fulfilled life, you must learn to focus and act on the pure thoughts you receive from the Self. Ignore the chatter you hear from your ego, it holds no ground and serves no purpose. All it is, is the opposing force to your desire to make positive change.
Third, realize that every force in the universe has an equal, opposite force. Think of your thoughts as little forces, each of these forces have equal opposing forces(negative emotions). Once you break your thoughts down like this, you realize that negative thoughts are nothing other than the culmination of an opposing force. They are not real. The force is simply present to resist against growth and it presents itself to us in the form of multiple negative emotions. Its goal is to hold us back from becoming a better version of ourselves because it hates change. It certainly should not be taken seriously.
Lastly, to build self-confidence little by little everyday, include in your daily practice: conscious thinking. This means, be aware of the thoughts you are thinking throughout the day. Your new job is to notice the balance of your thought and cause a shift towards the positive side. Notice the thoughts you think, ignore the negative chatter because it is meaningless, and focus on the positive thoughts because those are the only ones that matter.
Building confidence is not easy and it takes time. But, through daily practice of mastering your own thought process and making a shift in your consciousness from the ego to the Self, you will create positive thought momentum. Once you are able to successfully do this, you will experience a significant change in your life and it will definitely be worth it.
Always remember, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”
Written by Sunny Sharma