How To Let Go Of Anger And Resentment In A Relationship
(The video transcript below is not a 100% accurate. In case of typos, please make sure to watch the video above for clarification. Enjoy!)
A very popular request that I get on this channel is sunny, please make more videos on letting go. And a, you know, letting go is such an important topic when we’re talking about manifestation and creating your own reality because if you keep trying to create something new, something better. But at the same time you’re unconsciously carrying with you all your emotional baggage, all your past traumas, all that stuff that is just no longer serving you in any way.
It’s almost like putting your foot on the gas, but at the break at the same time. So you’re trying to get somewhere new, you’re trying to get somewhere better, but at the same time you’re just carrying so much baggage and so much weight with you that you’re not really getting anywhere.
So if you actually want to start making profound leaps in your create your own reality and manifestation and awareness journey, you have to start also letting go of a lot of the limiting programming, a lot of limiting beliefs and a lot of the limiting emotions, the negative emotions that don’t serve you at all.
So I will start making more videos on the topic of letting go. If that is something that you want, please let me know in the discussion about, I mean, um, the comments section below. Okay. Because, um, and let me know what specific requests you have around this topic.
For the purpose of this video, we’re going to be specifically talking about how to let go of anger and resentment in relationships because we’re obviously all engaged in relationships all the time throughout our day, right? Whether it’s with your parents, with your friends, with your partner, with work colleagues, anybody.
So these people in our relationships, how are you usually doing certain things oftentimes that make us angry or that you know, that bother us and that we may suppress. Like someone may do something to you that you, that bothers you but you don’t say anything or you don’t react to it, but you don’t also deal with it in a healthy way.
You just kinda suppress the emotion and then just kind of carry on with their life. And because you do that, you continue to suppress all these things. They build resentments. How often have you seen that in relationships? Maybe your own past experiences.
When you hold things back, it creates resentment and this builds up like a pressure cooker and then maybe your partner does something really little and you just go off and it’s not necessarily that thing that they did at that moment in time, but it’s just all the resentment that was building up that made you just kind of get really angry. So anger and resentment feed into each other. Okay. And so for the purpose of this video, and if you truly want to let go of that anger and you truly want to let go of that resentment, you have to take full ownership of it.
That is first and foremost. You have to realize that the anger that is arising from within you and the resentment that is arising from within you is not anybody else’s but your own. And this is where most people have a hard time accepting this is because the ego doesn’t want to accept that, Oh, this is my anger. This is like, this is my problem, not somebody else’s. Because ego wants to say that, no, this person is causing me anger. This person is causing the resentment, the negative feeling inside.
It doesn’t want to take responsibility and ownership of it. It wants to feel like a victim of that other person that this person is causing me this. This experience is causing me this. I am a little victim. Look at me, feel bad for me. You know, give me love. Give me appreciation. So if you truly want to let go of a lot of that anger, the resentment, all the negative baggage, you have to start taking ownership of it.
It is nobody else’s but your own. Nobody is causing it. That is a big key right there. Nobody else is causing any emotion to you. Your emotions are a choice that you make right now. You’re making this choice unconsciously on automatic.
Our job is to flow awareness into this mix so that you start getting more emotional mastery and realize that in any situation, no matter how chaotic, how negative, how bad that you have the power to choose, the way you want to feel, and that right there is freedom. When your emotional state is no longer attached to the outside screen of reality.
So whatever circumstances come and go, you can maintain your peace. You can maintain your wellbeing. So from today onwards, anytime anybody makes you angry, you have to learn to focus on the anger itself instead of the thing or the person or the experience that caused that anger.
And this right here is going to be your main challenge because when something happens, it completely takes a hold of your attention and you lose yourself in thoughts of what that experience is, what that person did, and you completely lose sight of the emotion that is arising. So our job, if you want to let go of the anger and the negativity and the resentment, you have to now focus on the emotion itself rather than the object of the emotion rather than what caused the emotion.
So let’s say someone does something that makes you really angry, okay? In that moment, you have to catch yourself. This is the awareness part. If you don’t catch yourself that, Oh, I’m getting angry, then you will react on automatic. And you will simply unconsciously choose that emotion of anger and you will maybe say something that’s going to hurt the other person and eventually will hurt you in the long run.
This is very crucial to understand too, with anger, you actually hurt the other person, but you hurt yourself more and that’s not healthy at all. It’s just not a good deal on both ends, you know? So you have to catch yourself right away. You have to wake up in that moment, and this is going to take some time maybe for you, but like be more vigilant.
You know, announce that intention to yourself that today I’m no longer reacting today I am choosing my emotions. So let’s say someone does something that makes you angry. Wake up right away. Feel that, Oh, that anger is bowing up. Realize, realize it. This is my anger. No one’s causing this. This anger is coming up from within me in hopes to release itself. That is why my mind has created this situation in which I get angry so that I can properly acknowledge my anger except my anger and take ownership of my anger.
So look at it like an opportunity. This is your opportunity to release the anger. How do you release the anger? Not by screaming at someone or by getting angrier, okay? But instead by focusing on the emotion so you can kind of remove yourself from the situation. Just don’t react to the person who ended up, whatever. Don’t give them any attention, whatever, or deal with the situation.
However you have to at that moment in time, not through your emotion though. Do the minimum possible action or whatever, and then remove yourself from the situation. Take some alone time and now you’re going to just focus on the anger that is arising again instead of focusing on the thoughts of what is causing you the anger. Focus on the anger itself. And this will always look like every emotion always manifests in your body as a sensation or like a tingling or um, you may, you will have a different, uh, a changed heartbeat.
Changed breathing pattern. That is the physical manifestation of the emotion in your body, right? When you’re nervous, you get butterflies. When you’re angry or blood starts boiling and you get really like heated and maybe even start sweating or your um, breath is like, uh, much faster. Your heartbeat is beating.
So things like that, every emotion has a different way of manifesting in your body. All your life you’ve just reacted to the emotion. Now you’re going to actually focus on the emotion itself, right? Don’t be like thinking, Oh, I am angry. Just stop labeling it. Instead, focus on the emotion itself. Emotion, focus on how it feels within your body and just keep your attention there. It’s so simple. It’s not easy all the time, but it is so simple in practice, meaning you don’t have to do anything to let go of anger or negative emotions.
All you have to do is become present and focus on them by the mere act of focusing on those emotions when they arise and just allowing yourself to experience them fully and allowing yourself to just accept that, okay, this is the way that it is right now. Letting go of the story of what caused that emotion and instead just focusing with full neutral attention on the emotion itself. You’re not labeling it as bad.
You’re not labeling it as good. You’re not passing any judgment on it. You’re not trying to get rid of it. Fourth one is very important. You’re not trying to get rid of it because that again is just that resistance that you’re like, Oh, this is bad. I need to get rid of this now. I should not be feeling this way.
Emotions come and go. You have to allow emotions to come and go by fully allowing yourself to experience them when they arise. Not focusing on the story, but instead on the emotion itself. So simply when you’re angry, when you’re feeling that resentment, when you’re feeling that negativity, just get inside your body. You’ve, you’re just, you’re, you have a habit of just being up here in your head.
Now, inhabit your whole body. Allow your awareness to spread to your whole body and simply just feel how your body feels, all the stuff that’s going on and just breathe into it again and again. When thoughts arise of the situation of the story of what caused it. Let it go. As much as you don’t want to believe that nothing is causing your emotion other than just the emotion itself, but trying to release itself. The more you don’t want to believe that, the more you’ll have a hard time getting rid of the emotion.
You have to come to terms with the fact that nothing is causing the emotion other than just the fact that it is here and you have to experience it. It is your emotion. Take ownership of it except it allow yourself to experience it. The reason that all this anger and resentment was shoved down was because you’ve been suppressing it all your life by avoiding it and resisting it.
So it’s trying to come up by creating situations through which you could vent itself in hopes that you will finally accept it in hopes that you will finally take ownership of it in hopes that you will finally your allow yourself to experience it. And when you do so and you simply just go, okay, this is it. This is happening and you just like breathe into it. Focus on the manifestation of the emotion in your body.
Seeing how fields, just staying with it, doing nothing to it, not trying to get rid of it, just staying with it, just sitting, being and just staying with the emotion. One thing you’ll notice if you stick with the emotion is that soon it vanishes.
It’s almost like magic. It may not happen instantly depending on how intense it is and depending on how well you’re doing this, again, it’s not really you’re doing, but it’s just simply a being with the emotion and allowing it soon it vanishes and it’s, it’s sort of magical. And the reason this happens is because the resistance that you had towards it, the, all that energy we’re putting towards, um, avoiding it was the resistance that created attraction towards it and is what kept it in the, in your energy field and you kept suppressing it through that resistance. Now you are letting it up.
You are simply experiencing it and allowing it to be just giving you your full neutral attention. And what this does is that this subs, like the energy behind the emotion subsides and just reduces. It reduces until the emotion just passes. All emotions are always just trying to pass through you, right? They’re not. Nothing in life stays.
Nothing in life is permanent. Emotions are not either. You only experienced the similar type of anger or resentment again and again because you suppress it, you’re clinging onto it. This practice allows you to simply just minimize the energy behind the emotion until it just leaves you.
It might sound too magical, but this is the entire practice simply being with the emotion and just letting it be, and sooner or later, the energy behind it just keeps going down until it just vanishes and then it’s gone. This, my friend is called letting go. So just to summarize for you, number one, wake up. When something’s triggering, you realize, Oh, this emotion is trying to vent itself. It has created this situation.
Number two, excuse me. Number two, take ownership of the emotion. Nothing is causing this emotion. This is simply just my emotion, right? This is mine. So I have to get rid of it. It’s not me, but it is mine. I have to um, let it go. But then you’re not having that sort of attitude towards it where you’re like, I need to get rid of it right now. You’re simply allowing yourself to let it go through full acceptance of it. So step three is allow yourself to fully experience the emotion. Focus on the feeling inside your body and just breathe into it and stay with it as long as possible.
And then you’ll notice automatically the emotion, the energy subsides and the emotion is released. And there you have it. And now the thousands of thoughts that were being fueled by your anger, the thousands of thoughts that were being fueled by our negativity and by her resentment that we’re going to control your behavior are now also gonna vanish. And you’ll be coming from a much more happier place.
Your thoughts are going to be coming from a much more abundant, happier place, a more authentic you and not having all these clouds of layers of anger and resentment, just clouding your judgment, clouding the real you so that you can be more loving me, be more authentic and this will obviously result in better action which will result in a better life. So try this out if you have questions about it, put them in the comment section below.
If you want to learn how to process your emotions and your past subconscious trauma, your limiting beliefs and everything of the nature. If you want to start letting go of all that emotional baggage and start creating your reality from a much more abundant and powerful perspective from a higher consciousness mindset, click the link in the description box below and schedule a one on one call with me in which we discuss if it’s the right fit for us to work together in my one on one coaching program in which I personally mentor you throughout this whole process of creating reality through a higher consciousness mindset manifesting your happiest life. Okay.
The link for that is down there in the description box below. But other than that, I hope you have a great day. Subscribe to this channel. Give me a thumbs up and I’ll see you in the next video.